We Borrow A Light
by amy like the pond
Summary: Logan Echolls lives across the street and is nothing but trouble. At least, that's what Veronica is told, but she doesn't fully believe it until he falls through her bedroom window way past her bedtime. AU LoganVeronica. High T, may change in later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**an2 (01/06/13)-** so i'm adding this here to clarify a few things if you're just joining in: this is a loganveronica fic and it is _angsty_. i'm trying to keep the characterization as close to canon as possible, and that implies logan being (oh wow!) a spoilt teenage boy who isn't very nice a lot of the time, and pre-series veronica lacking somewhat of a backbone. so, i just wanted to make it clear that logan's not going to be a disney prince. because he isn't. dude's got issues and anger management problems. i mean even when he's being nice and reformed he's beating the crap out of piz. sure, he can be romantic, but he's also a psychotic jackass and that's that. in MY opinion, anyway. if you disagree then i trust you can show yourself out, but if you stay please don't leave reviews about how logan should be nicer, unless you've got legitimate reason backing you up and want to shed some constructive critism.

also, i'd like to say that i have this whole thing planned out, so know that asking for specific things is kinda futile; although THAT doesn't mean that you can't speculate or hope certain things will happen. just don't go whippin' out those puppy dog eyes at me. i have a puppy and i am immune.

sorry about the sermon, i'm a fun ball of sunshine really, and i hope you guys like the fic!

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**an- **so here's a veronica mars fic for ya. it's an au, logan and veronica meet as kids. i honestly don't know what made this happen- i pretty much wrote it all on my ipod, which is insane and i'm insane and you know. it will probably go up all through canon, each chapter will be from pretty much a different period in their lives; rated t for now but it's pretty hardcore, as in all the usual vmars stuff; abuse, rape... if it's in the show, it's in here.

i want to thank **theonesthatcomeeasy** for giving me feedback through this whole process AND being my beta! beautiful multitasking human being right there.

anyway, i hope you guys enjoy, and feedback is much appreciated! i want to update once a week! (reviews will help cough cough)

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**PART 1: SUMMERS AND BETWEEN**

**i.**

Veronica Mars is nine years old when Logan Echolls moves in across the street.

The street was nothing out of the ordinary. The suburban American dream, complete with white picket fences and two story homes with porches, front lawns and garages. It's all but too ordinary. So naturally there's something of a buzz when Aaron Echolls, considered an extraordinary person by many, decides to move his family to the Neptune neighborhood.

Veronica's father tells her that it's all part of Aaron Echolls' publicity stunt to be "average" again. That Aaron Echolls himself actually believes to be far from it, and that's why it won't work.

The paparazzi calm down after a month or two, and Keith Mars says it's only a matter of time before he goes back to his mansion in Neptune's very own Beverly Hills. Which is all very well. That way, it will be easier for her to stay away from the movie star's son, who can't be completely sane, having a father like that. Despite this, Veronica doesn't fully believe the boy is all backwards until one night he clambers through her bedroom window way past bedtime.

Veronica is asleep until she hears the crash; it's loud and defeated and it makes her bolt upright in bed, ready to scream for her parents. In a rush, she turns her bedside lamp on, and her immediately eyes fall on the crumpled figure that's lying at the foot of her bed. Then she looks over to the open window above her desk, and then to the pieces of paper she had previously stacked neatly on her desk, now strewn across the floor. Afterwards, she looks back at him.

She recognizes the broken figure splayed across the deep blue carpet immediately - she's sure it's simply because her parents warned her to ignore it at all cost.

"L-Logan?" she whispers, swinging her legs over the edge of her bed and leaning forward to get a better look.

The boy has pulled himself into the fetal position, and is covering his face with his arm. At the sound of her voice he twitches. That's when Veronica sees the blood. She jumps to her feet and rushes over to him, falling to her knees at his side.

"Logan," she croaks, gingerly turning his limp body over to see his face. It's battered and bruised and the poor lighting didn't ease the shock she feels upon seeing his swollen left cheek. Veronica suddenly feels rather ill, and frightened tears start to well in her eyes. Her heart's racing and her breathing is unsteady, although nothing compared to the quiet jagged breaths the boy is sucking in through clenched teeth.

"What happened to you?" she breathes, voice shaking.

"Nice jammies," is the response that emerges from his cut lips, and his voice causes a twang of surprise deep in the pit of her stomach.

"Are you... smiling?" she implores, horrified - but she never gets to hear his response. He must have heard her parent's bedroom door open, too, because as soon as Veronica does he jumps to his feet, miraculously transforming from drowsy and weak to awake and alert in a matter of seconds.

As footsteps move down the hall, Logan dives right into Veronica's closet, requiring no invitation to further invade her privacy and sparing only a short moment to look at her, the plea in his bright eyes obvious. Veronica finds herself nodding, and a mere second after her closet door closes, her bedroom one opens opposite it.

And there stands her dad, in his dressing gown and slippers, the bright light of the hallway outlining his stocky form. Keith Mars is generally a very alert man, but at this precise moment his expression is tired, his eyes drowsy with sleep. Which is good. This will make it easier to lie to him.

"Veronica?" he grunts. "I heard a crash. You okay?"

Veronica turns away from the closet and towards her father. "Yeah, dad," she says at once, without missing a beat. "I fell out of bed."

His eyes dart across the room, and with a pang Veronica realizes the covers look relatively intact; when she falls out of bed, they normally go with her.

And right there is one of the downsides of having your dad being the town Sheriff. He's good at finding clues, and clues are good for finding the truth.

Either that, or he really is psychic, like he insists he is.

"What are you doing sitting in the middle of the floor?" he presses, suddenly seeming a little more awake. Veronica swallows, wishing the ground would swallow her up, or that this is actually a bad dream. She can feel Logan inside her closet, a heat that seems to be radiating from behind her. Her dad knows she's lying, he always does. Can he see how fast or hear how loud her heart is beating?

"Wind-" she begins in a small voice, but he raises an eyebrow and she squeaks. Nope. She swallows and tries again. "Wind must have come through the window, it blew all my homework onto the floor. I'm picking it up."

Her father steps forward and her breath hitches. Oh god, is Logan breathing really loud in that closet, or is it just her imagination?

"You alright, kid?" Keith asks again, strolling toward the desk. The desk right next to her closet. Veronica decides the best thing to do is to not watch him, so she busies herself with arranging her homework; a diagram of the parts of the flower.

"Mm?" she asks, because she knows that if she speaks her voice will shake too much and give her away. The stem, the bulb...

"You seem a bit shook up," her dad continues.

"I'm fine," she assures him, trying to keep her voice strong and steady. "Just had a bad dr-"

Creeaak.

Dread fills her from head to toe as she spins around, only to see her father leaning over her desk to shut her window.

"Then we'll be closing the window at night from now on," is all he says, and Veronica breathes again as he steps away from the desk and closet, and towards her. She's going to do it. She's almost home free.

Her father ruffles her hair and bends down to kiss her on the head. "Put your stuff in your school bag and go back to sleep," are his last words, and then he's walking towards the door, closing the door, and walking down the hall and into his bedroom.

Veronica would laugh if she had it in her. Instead she just sinks farther into the floor, her limbs relaxing and her blood pounding through her body with a little less bass. Everything seems quieter, and a huge breath escapes her for a few seconds of calm.

Her fists clench around the various pages of her flower diagram and she gets to her feet, her heart starting up again.

Logan is most definitely trouble, but her mother was always going on about how she was a curious one.

And that she is.

After putting her homework into her bag, she walks over to her closet. Two light knocks (because that seems like a good idea, for some reason), and she slowly opens the door. She's greeted by the sight of him, his knees drawn to his chest, his whole figure pressing her t-shirts and dresses up against the inside of the wardrobe.

"Thanks for not ratting on me," he mutters, not meeting her eye.

"What are you doing here?" Veronica demands immediately; she'll get her answers and then he can leave.

But he doesn't answer at first. He throws his head back and seems to be willing to look at anything that isn't her; and then he does look at her, and she wishes he wouldn't. She knows many other kids her age, and those aren't a child's eyes. She can't explain why, but something in his eyes unnerves her to no end. She doesn't break eye contact, though; whenever her father is being fierce, he never breaks eye contact. Veronica has to be fierce, because this boy scares her, and she can't let him know that.

"Well?" she prods, lips pursed.

A beat, then, "I needed somewhere to hide."

"Why?" Sharp. Fierce.

His hand plays with the cotton of one of her dresses.

"I got into a fight."

"Well," Veronica sighs, like her mother does when she eats all the cookies. "you shouldn't have."

Logan tears his gaze away from her then, bringing his full attention to her cotton dress, now patterned with bloody fingerprints. Veronica breathes deeply. She'll get him to leave, then she'll deal with the dress.

"You think I don't know that?" It's a growl, defensive. Veronica clears her throat.

"You can't stay here."

That grabs his attention.

Once again, with an energy that was absent seconds before, he climbs out of the closet like a puppet being pulled up by strings. As he closes the door behind him, Veronica can't help but wince a little upon seeing the state of him once more. His cut lip is still bleeding, and it's awful; the blood glistens deep red in the dim light, coating his chin and dripping onto his shirt.

"You've got to let me stay," he pleads through the red, stepping into her personal space, everything about him buzzing with an overwhelming kind of urgency. No matter how horrifying the bubbles of blood between his teeth are, Veronica doesn't falter, clenching her fists to help her hold her ground. He isn't much taller than she is, even as he draws himself up to his full height.

But somehow, up close, in the light, he isn't nearly as threatening. He wipes off the blood that's dripping down his chin with a sleeve, in a swift, self-conscious movement, and then starts rocking on the balls of his feet. Back and forth, back and forth. As he grows nearer and farther, Veronica realizes with a pang that he's much more afraid than she is... but not of her.

"Who did this to you?" she breathes, her voice small and papery thin.

Logan licks his lips, takes a deep breath. "Someone," he answers shortly, and then breathes out, leaning back and putting a hand in his pocket. "Hey, do you have anything for this?" He points at his damaged face.

"Which part?" Veronica jokes, and suddenly she's smiling.

'What are you doing, Veronica?' The sane part inside of her asks.

He smiles back.

x

That night, the night Veronica quietly slipped down to the kitchen to get the first aid supplies, and then quietly tiptoed back up to help Logan with his battle scars... that night was the beginning of a very strange friendship.

Two months later, Logan is waiting for Veronica on her front porch. She rides up on her bike, knee socks splattered in mud and hair pulled up in a messy ponytail. Soccer practice has been hell today. Denise hogged the ball the whole time, Julia decided she'd rather kick other players, giving up all pretense of kicking the ball, and Madeline had purposefully elbowed Veronica in the the stomach because she seemed to believe Veronica had stolen her boyfriend. Which was ridiculous, because Veronica hadn't even known girls her age could even have boyfriends. Until today, she had thought that you needed to be sixteen or over. Her father is to blame for that particular belief, and Veronica was mortified that she had held it for so long.

And here's Logan Echolls, probably here to make her day even worse, dark hair sticking up in ridiculous spikes and his too-large shirt hanging over his skinny frame. He has a piece of string, and he's tying and untying it around his wrist; she's seen him do it before. He'll pull it tighter until his hand is purple, and only then will he let go.

He's in the process of untangling his hand, the color returning to his fingers, as she dismounts her bicycle and leans it on the steps beside him.

"Hey," he greets, grinning up at her. She puts her hands on her hips and scowls down at him, determined not to let her charm her into forgiveness.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now?"

His smile vanishes, and he looks back down at his hand, stretching out his fingers.

"I didn't... You know it's not..." He's blundering, he looks nervous and it's kind of pitiful, but Veronica presses on.

"You were bullying that kid in the park! You kept on pushing him higher and higher- you and that Casablancas boy- that kid was crying and you wouldn't let him off!"

"Yeah, well..." Logan begins, not looking her in the eye, "You were there to save the day," he mumbles at the floor. And then, as Veronica opens her mouth, "I'm sorry, okay?"

It's amazing, Veronica thinks, how he can seem so completely innocent while being so completely guilty. She feels like she's the bad guy, and that there _must_ be something she doesn't know, something that merited his actions, something that makes sense. Something that would help her prove that Logan Echolls is a good person.

"It's not okay," she says. "Why would you do a thing like that? You were laughing, and it was cruel, and I don't agree with it." She folds her arms for emphasis, like her mother does so often.

"So you don't want to be my friend?" Logan asks sharply, head snapping up; suddenly, he's cold and hard. Veronica tries not to let her surprise and disappointment show.

"I- I don't think I do," she whispers, as cooly as she could muster.

He stands up abruptly, piece of string floating to the ground at his feet.

"Fine."

He knocks shoulders with her as he moves past, but it doesn't hurt. No matter how many kids he bullies, no matter how many fights he gets into, Veronica knows he would never hurt her. Sort of.

She picks up her bicycle and steers it towards the garage- she doesn't look back to watch him leave, because she doesn't want him to see how much she didn't actually want him to leave.

And she's exhausted- not from soccer practice, but from talking to him. She's always tired after her encounters with Logan; he seems to drain everything out of her. When she's with him, she's wide awake, but when he leaves he takes it all with him. It's because he's so difficult, Veronica decides. It's so hard to chose between being nice to him and not.

She pulls her keys out of her backpack and sticks one of them in the garage panel. As the door rises up, she hears a voice from behind her.

"The kid was Dick's little brother." Veronica jumps and spins around, her bicycle crashing against the floor.

"God, Logan! You scared me!"

Logan offers her an apologetic smile. Suddenly, he's soft around the edges again. "He stole Dick's Gameboy is all- I just was helping Dick get it back."

Veronica folds her arms across her chest once more, and studies him carefully. He shifts his weight self-consciously.

"And I want to be your friend," he continues. "I want us to be best friends."

And that changed everything.

Veronica's cheeks flush pink and her eyes shine with excitement as she considers what he just said. She already has a best friend- Lilly Kane, that is. But Lilly will be leaving for Greece for the summer in a week, so it technically won't really count, she rationalizes.

He takes a step towards her, and she can see in his eyes that he knows he's won.

"Do you want to be my best friend?" he asks quietly, a smile tugging at his lips.

Veronica slouches and rolls her eyes.

"I guess so," she allows.

Logan grins, and laughs a little. She's determined not to smile, determined to show him how much she doesn't really care, but she knows he knows better. It's exhausting.

He jumps to the floor to pick up her bike, and wheels it into the garage for her. Afterwards, he invites her to come over to his house, and they sit in his bedroom playing video games on his Xbox for the rest of the afternoon. She tells him all about her awful day, and he smiles and scowls at all the right parts. He offers to go vouch for Veronica against Madeline, an offer Veronica respectfully declines. For some reason, she doesn't think Logan would help her case at all.

At eight o'clock, Logan's dad comes in to tell Veronica that the Sheriff wants her to come home for dinner.

Aaron Echolls is a famous movie star, and one of the reasons Veronica's parents aren't too keen on her befriending Logan. Everyone knows that famous kids never ended up great. Veronica supposes that maybe that's the reason Logan is so confusing. His father is equally so- there's a certain pull you feel towards him, and Veronica understands why his films are such great hits. He's very magnetic, Veronica's mom had said once, causing Keith to scowl. But he's also very scary. Just like Logan. He has no reason to be- he's pleasant enough, always smiling and asking Logan how he's doing at school... But again, something about him made Veronica uncomfortable, and interacting with him was draining.

And Logan isn't friends with Aaron the way Veronica is friends with Keith. He gets quieter when his father is in the room, and rarely looks him in the eye. And Veronica knows he isn't shy. Shy kids don't team up with Dick Casablancas to terrorize the neighborhood children. Shy kids don't just climb into people's bedroom windows. No, Logan is quiet when he's vulnerable.

And Aaron Echolls makes him vulnerable.

x

As summer reaches its end, Logan Echolls is no longer vulnerable. Or maybe he is, and he's just being louder about it.

He tells Veronica that he's moving away the same day history repeats itself, and he crawls through her bedroom window way past bedtime. He will be moving to LA, because his dad's new schedule for his newest movie is very demanding. Logan tells her this in the Echolls' living room; he's glaring at the back of his father's head as he speaks, and Veronica has never seen him so angry. Mr. Echolls is making bacon in the kitchen, visible through the glass doors, effectively being present and not at the same time. It makes Veronica feel very uncomfortable, but she's used to it now. She's spent a lot of this summer in Aaron Echolls' company, because no matter how tight his schedule is, he always seems to have time to show up at some point during the day. Once, when Logan had gone to the bathroom, leaving Veronica in the back garden alone clutching an ice-cream cone, Aaron had asked her if his son was behaving himself. So she guessed that's what he was doing. He knew Logan could be nasty sometimes, and was just looking out for him.

But then, Veronica thought, if he knew Logan could be nasty sometimes, surely he knew that Logan could be lovely, too?

So it's no wonder, really, that Logan doesn't like to be in his house.

They spent their summer as best friends riding their bikes to all the holiday resort-esque locations Neptune had to offer; during two months they had managed to visit (via bicycle) every beach, every ice-cream parlor and every pool in town. Lynn Echolls had even taken them and Logan's sister, Trina, to the theme park once or twice. The Echolls' riches were much different than the Kane's, and they spent a lot of money. Veronica's dad said it was because Jake Kane worked very hard to get to where he was, whilst Aaron and Lynn Echolls just appeared shirtless on screen a couple of times. He had said this with no malice intended, of course.

But the day Logan tells Veronica he's moving is also the last day they can be best friends- his words, not hers. She would have argued if she didn't know it to be true.

She likes to believe she has witnessed a transformation of Logan Echolls over that summer. Like he'd hardened in the summer sun. That day, as they ride to the farthest beach, he's much darker than two months ago. There's a silence to him, an anger. The whole day, they don't speak about his moving away, but it lies there between them as they swim in the ocean and then dry in the sun.

It's six o'clock when they get back to their street, and instead of following her into her house, like he always did, he stands still and holds out his hand for her to shake.

She does, and it's warm, cold, grown up, and so very Logan. So very new Logan.

And he's simmering, there's a fire in his eyes and she watches him march up to his own house, leaving his bicycle and backpack strewn across the front lawn.

It feels like the beginning of a storm, not like an ending at all. So Veronica isn't surprised this time, when he crawls through her bedroom window at 2 in the morning.

She doesn't hesitate or ask questions before crawling downstairs to get the first aid box, but thankfully this time he isn't as bad. He winces as he moved, and he won't let her see his back, even though blood is seeping through his shirt. He does let her take a look at the bruise on his face, and gladly accepts her offer to lie down on her bed; on his side, so it wouldn't hurt. He kicks off his shoes and closes his eyes as she packs away all the supplies, glad that he doesn't need stitches, like before. Months ago, she had made him leave to get his mother to take him to the hospital, because of his torn lip.

When she comes back into her bedroom, she crawls into bed beside him, and they both lie there, on top of the covers. He opens his eyes and smiles as she places her head on the pillow they now shared. It's a real smile, a smile that warms her up inside; a smile that makes her realize how much she was going to miss him in the morning.

"Nice jammies," he whispers at last, his breath tickling her nose, and Veronica finally smiles back.

"You feeling okay?"

"As okay as I possibly can feel." His voice is low and fragile, but his tone is matter-of-fact. "I always feel better when I'm with you." He complements that last bit with a cheesy smile, and even though Veronica knows he's joking, she can feel her cheeks turning pink and is glad for the dim light. Suddenly, she's very aware of how close they are. This felt very different to her sleepovers with Lilly, but she doesn't want to think on it right now.

"I don't suppose you want to tell me who did this?" she inquires, and his smile grows sad. "That's okay," she clarifies, and he nods.

She jumps a bit when something touches her hand, but then she realizes it's his own, messily wrapped in the bandages she had provided. He takes her hand in his, lies it in the space between them and squeezes it gently. The bandage is warm and scratchy, and his fingers are sweaty. Veronica is suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to cry.

"I wish I didn't have to leave," Logan whispers across the pillow, his eyes big and serious. "I don't want to move. I hate our big houses, I hate my dad. I hate him so much, Veronica."

His voice shakes as he says it, but it's not a surprising revelation - it's hardly a revelation at all - but it weighs down in the pit of Veronica's stomach like a deep, dark confession all the same.

"It's all about him, every single thing. I asked him if he would let me stay..." He trails of, and has to look away.

He stares over the top of Veronica's head, and then down at their intertwined hands. He seems like he's trying to say something, and he licks his lips like he's ready to, but then he doesn't say anything at all.

"Well... our parents do what they think is best for us," Veronica recites nervously, her stomach churning for reasons unknown. "Even if we don't always-"

Logan cuts her off with a bitter laugh. "Not this one." He shakes his head, smiling. This smile isn't the same as before, this smile doesn't warm her up. This is new Logan, shiny and scary. "Nope, he doesn't do anything good for me," he says, and Veronica finds herself staring at the bruise on his face.

He swallows. "Veronica, you have to believe me. You can't side with him. Everyone else does." His tone is pleading and his grasp around her hand tightens, and she has no choice but to give in.

"I do," she says in a small voice. "I do believe you."

Logan's entire body seems to relax, and it's only now Veronica realizes how tense he had been. His expression go from tortured to blissful, and his eyes close gently as he seems to sink into the bed. If Veronica didn't know better, she would think he were asleep. But his thumb is stroking her wrist.

"Thank you," he mutters, opening his eyes once more. She's reminded of the first night, now, when his eyes had frightened her; but now that shade of brown is comforting, and she feels like she needs it all the time.

"I'm going to miss you," she mumbles. Her heart almost jumps out of her chest as he shifts towards her. She doesn't know why, but she's almost certain that he's going to kiss her. Which is ridiculous, and not something that best friends do.

But he kisses her anyway- on the forehead. It burns right through her skin, and as he shifts himself a little further upwards she rests her head against his chest.

"I'm gonna miss you, too, Veronica," he breathes into her hair.

Veronica almost cries, but doesn't- not until she wakes up the next morning and he's gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**an-** friday night update, whatwhat!

wowee, did i ever get response for the first chapter! you guys are awesome! geez! i like this fandom. and i forgot to mention, i'm completely new to it! i started watching this show this year, what with all the movie hype, and, well... i'm hyped up! so yeah, this is my first vmars fic, and i'm sorry if anyone's out of character... but this is also pre-series, so i do have a little bit of freedom. i just hope these guys feel like the characters, you know?

i'm a little less fond of this chapter, but the one after this is a big 'un. look at this, though! updating in a week! aww yis. i can do this. i can update regularly. i CAN i swear.

once again, thanks to **theonesthatcomeeasy** for reading and beta'ing and _all the things_!

i hope you guys enjoy! your reviews really help me writing!

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**ii.**

Middle school is a very strange time for Veronica Mars.

During the first two years, Veronica is popular. Well, as popular as you can be in middle school. It involves a lot of standing around in empty fields at night, tentatively sipping on rum and coke and breathing other people's cigarette smoke while kids not much older than herself spend hour after hour convincing themselves they're cool.

To be fair, there _are_ two popular cliques; Veronica is just in the one Lilly is in. And Veronica just does everything Lilly wants to do.

Of course, then, during her final year at Neptune Middle, Lilly isn't there, and Veronica comes to realize just exactly what fame she has accumulated on her own.

Top tip: it's next to none.

Sure, she still gets invited to parties- high school parties she isn't allowed to go to. Not because her parents don't trust their little girl, but because her parents have suddenly realized precisely how much they can trust Lilly Kane.

So in the afternoons, Veronica listens to Lilly go on and on about how _great_ High School is, and how _great_ High School boys are, and how _great_ High School parties are... But during the day, Veronica doesn't hear much from anyone at all. Sure, she's still friends with Madeline and Sarah, but she can tell that they valued Lilly's company a lot more than they valued hers. The rest of Veronica's friends have moved on to High School with Lilly, although one Kane still remaines.

Duncan is an odd one, that's for sure. At the beginning of their third year, he greets her in the hallways, shares a desk with her in Biology, and sometimes sits with them at lunch. He always acts strange about it, though, like he doesn't know how to act around Veronica when Lilly isn't about. He stops trying just before Christmas break. It's not his fault, really. He asks Veronica out, see, and she says no. So it's very much her fault.

Over the holidays, as she spends hour after hour with Lilly, she contemplates her new social status and how positively upsetting it is. No one wants Veronica but Lilly, and that's something that has to change.

So she resolves to change it herself- and by herself, she means with Lilly's help. She lets Lilly dress her up as Lilly pleases. By the time winter break is over and school is back in session, Veronica is ready to be popular again, all on her own, her new tank tops, polo shirts and denim skirts all lined up on her bedroom desk.

Logan Echolls puts a stop to that.

Sure, she hears a couple of rumors at the Kane's Christmas Ball, but she's too busy avoiding Duncan (a task made very difficult by Lilly, who gleefully succeeds in locking Veronica and Duncan in the shoe closet halfway through the night) to take anything said by Neptune's elite too seriously.

Then there's been the party she sneaks out to, where Dick Casablancas swears on his brother's life that Aaron Echolls is coming back to Neptune after break; a dubious statement from a dubious source.

Lilly promises to tell Veronica anything she finds out about the Echolls' afairs, only to call Veronica the night before classes resumed to say that it is, in fact, true.

And that it is, in fact, _destiny_.

Veronica wants to laugh bitterly at destiny the second she sees him in the school hallway. She wants to punch destiny in the face.

Of course, Logan Echolls would transfer to her school. Of course, he would befriend Duncan Kane.

Of course, he would be completely different.

She successfully avoids him the whole first day. And the second. By the third day, she begins to suspect that he's avoiding her, too.

So, on the fourth day, she approaches him.

Not voluntarily, that is. No, it's definitely not voluntary. In fact, in some part of her mind she's already resolved to ignore him for the rest of the year- the school's pretty big, and he seems pretty obnoxious. It's not like she's the one making it weird- nope, not at all. He's the one making it weird; he made it weird when he saw her in the hallway that first day and didn't smile, or wave, or do anything at all.

It's the end of the day and Veronica is heading for her locker to grab the books she needs for homework that afternoon. She almost stops in her tracks once she catches sight of Duncan Kane leaning against her locker, but she grits her teeth and carries on all the same. Duncan has seen her by the time the crowd shifts and she sees Logan- she's moving too determinedly and too obviously to be able to casually slip away, change direction. Her heart starts racing as she slows her pace ever so slightly. To give Logan a chance to run, that is. Because his eyes widen when he sees her, like he didn't quite known which girl's locker he was staking out until now. So she walks slower, expecting him to mutter some excuse or other to Duncan and then scram- but while the panic no longer shows in his expression, he seems rooted to the spot.

Veronica kind of wants to walk up to him and shake him out of it, because this really doesn't have to be difficult. They used to be friends. It's no big deal, no big secret.

_So why didn't you tell Lilly everything about it?_

"Hey, Veronica," Duncan greets as soon as she's in earshot. He then shifts his weight, moments before Logan does. How adorable- two peas in a pod.

Veronica's grip around her binder tightens, but her smile is easy.

"Boys," she says, pleasantly enough. She looks at Duncan, then at Logan, and then at Duncan again. As he talks, she assimilates exactly how much he's changed- sure, she had seen how tall he had gotten from afar, but she hadn't expected having to crane her neck to look him in the face. Now, looking at Duncan, she's still sizing Logan up out of the corner of her eye. I mean, she's already close, so she may as well take advantage of the situation. Make lemonade and all that. Besides, it's not like she hasn't spent the whole half hour of lunch listening to Jasmine Garth talk on and on about his arms; which are, coincidentally, folded across his chest- and my, are they huge. This is most certainly not the scrawny boy she would find waiting for her on her front porch.

"-so basically," Duncan is saying, "she asked me to tell you that she's grounded with no phone, and to enter through that secret way she doesn't think I know about."

"Okay, great!" Veronica answers, perhaps a little too enthusiastically. She curses herself silently and goes for a more meager approach. "I'll do that." Small smile, aaand... there, much better! Much less insane- good going, Mars!

She then chances a look at Logan's face, and immediately knows she shouldn't have- he's positively beaming, and it's not the least bit comforting. Veronica knows that look all too well, thanks to her many escapades with Lilly- it's the infamous and – oh god – flirtatious I-know-you-were-just-checking-me-out look, and she didn't trust this new Logan with that information at all.

"Now, if you'll excuse me- this is my locker," she forces herself to say. End this encounter, end this encounter...

Duncan practically jumps away from her locker, and she smiles sweetly.

Now walk away, now just go away...

But then he speaks, and her stomach drops and wow, Veronica, you are ridiculous. "Want us to walk you home? Carry your books?" It's teasing, and god, even his voice has changed- which will make the whole concinving-herself-he's-not-Logan thing so much easier.

And then his words actually sink in, and if this were a world where good things happened to her, her cheeks wouldn't be turning pink, and her witty, cool comeback wouldn't be, "My mom's picking me up."

Seeing as this really isn't a world where good things happened to her, Ducan raises an eyebrow.

"Do you two... know each other?"

Logan's the first to react- the deep, jaded Game Over voice must have rung in his head too.

It's all over as Logan puts his arm over her shoulders and says, "Me and 'Ronica?" She can feel him smiling down at her fondly, but there's absolutely nothing fond about how he's pulling her into him, how his cologne is suffocating her, how his edges all seem to be jagged and unfriendly. "A long time ago, we used to be friends."

That's all they are. Two people who used to be friends- who occasionally run into each other in the hallways, and are occasionally part of the same volleyball team in PE.

And it's through these short encounters she quietly studies him, because it really is intriguing- precisely how much he's changed, how different he is. She's changed, sure, but with her it's more of an evolution- like the path had been set out and she's just following it. Logan doesn't even seem to have a path- what's happened is he's gotten bigger, in every sense of the word. He's Logan to the power of. It's like every little Logan thing has been taken and multiplied an infinity of times... and, in a lot of cases, it most certainly isn't for the best.

Take his anger, for instance. The last day he and Veronica had been best friends, his anger had been silent and slow-burning. Now, he seems to be angry all the time, even when he's smiling, even when he's relaxed. Veronica often wonders how nobody else sees it, and why more people don't back away. He seems almost dangerous, like all he needs is the slightest push.

And where he had been amicably cocky before, bravado seems to be his mother tongue now. The way he carries himself is like he knows everyone was watching, they way he talks is all for an audience- nifty catchphrases and witty comebacks his father's movies would probably want to patent.

And of course, where he had been scrawny and seemingly helpless, he's now huge and anything but it. He's practically a wall, and it's odd how well he pulls it off. He's still growing, but he's already tall enough.

He does still gel his hair, so there's that- but he has highlights now. Which are utterly ridiculous, by the way.

And then there are the girls.

The hundreds of girls that ask Veronica if she actually really _truly_ knows him, and if she could put in a good word. The hundreds of girls that laugh at his every joke and hang on his every word. The girls that stand in a corner in PE instead of participating in class, giggling and pointing and whispering amongst themselves.

"Do you reckon it's as big as his dad's?"

"Cassie, you know that was a stunt penis, right?"

"Wait- what?"

"As if Aaron Echolls would use his own dick-"

(That made Veronica snort loudly and miss the ball. Logan blew her a kiss from across the court, which really didn't help matters at all- she was maybe quite possibly subdued by a rather embarrassing giggling fit for the rest of the hour, and thankfully Logan seemed to catch onto the fact that she was giggling at him for all the wrong reasons.)

Veronica knows that the girls are most definitely damaging his ego- which, by the way, is frigging huge. She would like to think that he doesn't actually believe he's as awesome as he says he is, and that relatively more modest Logan lies underneath that hardened, jackass shell- but she needs to stop reading those magazines. This isn't 90210. This is Neptune – actually similar in a lot of ways, but dissimilar in the fact that this is real life, and that show isn't. Sadly.

So, Veronica gets used to Logan being back in her life rather quickly, like these things usually happen. His presence isn't life-altering, it doesn't rock her world, it doesn't change everything or make her question the very essence of who she is or where she's headed. Besides, it's hardly like they hang out during or after school at all, other than the few times they both happen to be at the Kane's mansion at the same time; but he'll be with Duncan, and she'll be with Lilly, who – thank god – is going through a phase that involves a lot of insisting that she doesn't have time for her brother as long as Veronica doesn't. Which isn't intended as spiteful, but it makes Veronica feel rotten all the same. If it weren't for Logan, she be trying to fix it all- but she's weak, and he's annoying, and also knows _way_ too much about her for the formation of a gleeful quartet.

And of course, Lilly is another matter entirely.

Her knowledge of Veronica's previous friendship with the movie star's son is... lacking in some areas. Veronica herself isn't quite sure why- but when Lilly had told her to spill upon returning from Greece at the end of the summer, Veronica had only spilt half of it. Which was weird, because she and Lilly tell each other everything. Like, once, Lilly's aunt's boyfriend kissed her. _That's_ how close Veronica and Lilly are. But when the time came to tell Lilly all about it, something had stuck in her throat and the story had been left as a slightly more fleshed-out version of the emails Veronica sent her, which had been vague outlines at best.

"God, you're so positively _boring_ for someone so pretty, Veronica," Lilly had said. Veronica supposes she wouldn't think her boring if she knew how well she had tended to Logan's wounds- twice, no less! Or how she and Logan had gone rock climbing, or how they had found that cool cave a short way from Hudson beach, or about the time they had picked a path and rode their bikes out into the desert until it was dark, and the whole Sheriff's department was out looking for them until they rode back into Neptune early the next morning, shattered and thoroughly convinced they had been on a proper adventure, like in the movies.

x

It's a Saturday, and Veronica and Lilly are sunbathing by the Kane's pool. Lilly is telling Veronica about the ridiculous new hair trend that had swallowed Neptune High whole when the door to the Kane's estate flings open, and out marches Logan, Duncan following closely behind. If Veronica had bothered to look closely, she may have seen how angry he looked.

Lilly turns to Veronica as Logan approaches them, her face angelic, all neat and rehearsed. "Oh, I _completely_ forgot to say-"

"Honey bumble-bee," Logan coos, and Veronica snorts, expecting Lilly to share the laugh- but instead, Lilly smiles at her apologetically, jumps right off the sunbed and lunges at him- he catches her in his arms easily, she wraps her legs around his waist, he spins them both around and then he kisses her.

The world around them goes dark, and Veronica's blood freezes the instant she sees Lilly kiss back.

She stares- oh yeah, she stares. Cold from shock and eyes wide with what feels like horror (but that would be a little melodramatic), she stares at Lilly. Lilly who tells her everything, Lilly with her arms wrapped around Logan's neck and her mouth all over him.

She stared at Logan, who seems to be vibrating with an intensity he always seemed to have, but now it's all channeled towards her, every single ounce of it.

The way he looks at Lilly when they part makes Veronica's insides churn.

It's all very surreal , and Veronica isn't fully convinced of it's veracity until Duncan confirms it.

"Disgusting, isn't it?"

Veronica pulls herself out of her stupor to turn to him. He's crouched beside her, looking at the scene before them with a mix of irritation and amusement. She has no idea how he got there, to be quite honest.

"You're just jealous!" Lilly calls out, and Veronica checks- yup, he's still holding her. She feels dizzy as she looks away, deciding Duncan has a pleasant enough face for her to look at for the next few minutes.

"You got me," the younger Kane admits, raising his hands, "I just _really_ wanted to get into Logan's pants."

Veronica's stomach gives another lurch. Lilly plus Logan equaled definite pants action. No way two people as intense and shameless as the two of them would be able to stop themselves...

Flip flops hit the ground and something makes Veronica look up.

Lilly is beaming at her with what seems to be like pride, and Logan... Logan looks apologetic, which makes no sense, and just succeeds in making her feel even more upset.

But she wasn't upset- no, not at all. That would be a very strange thing indeed.

x

"I don't know, it just... happened! I was at a party last weekend, and he was at that same party last weekend... And it just felt _right_, you know?" Lilly says dazedly, stretching out on her bed, her back arching and her toes curling. "It all just clicked!" she relaxes with a flop, a giggle escaping her lips. "The stars aligned!" she announces grandly, stretching her arms out. "The world stopped spinning, the music stopped being so loud... and he is... he's so... so... _magnetic_!"

"Yeah?" Veronica says, and she's not quite sure how it sounded, but it must have sounded like something, because Lilly bolts upright and looked at her, eyes wide.

"You're not..." she whispers the next word, "_jealous_, are you?"

Veronica blinks slowly and stops spinning on the desk chair as she takes in the information.

"I- What?"

"You like him!" Lilly insists, crawling forward on the bed. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Veronica frowns. "Lilly, I-"

"This is so absolutely terrible!"

Veronica's expression hardens. "Lilly, stop!" she says, laughing so that it's not obvious how annoyed she is. Lilly quietens down, swinging her legs over the side of the bed and placing her hands in her lap, like an obedient child. "It's really fine," Veronica continues. "I don't like Logan."

Lilly sighs loudly, and seems vaguely disappointed.

"Well... if you say so..." she says, blowing a strand of hair out of her eyes.

"I _do_ say so," Veronica grins.

Two days later, Lilly and Logan break up.

Of course, two days after that, they get back together. In all fairness, Veronica isn't particularly sure what to think, or how to feel. Especially when everyone seems so interested in how she's "coping".

About a week after Logan and Lilly attempted to eat each other's faces off by the poolside, Logan finally approaches her. To talk to her. In public. As in, he actually _willingly_ acknowledges her existence. It's definitely a light at the end of the tunnel.

"What up, V?" he asks as she steps out of her front door and onto her porch. He's leaning against the door frame, arms folded across his chest and a smirk plastered on his face. Backup growls and she tightens her grip on the leash.

"If my dad came home to you standing there," she says carefully, "you _do_ know he would probably shoot you, right?"

"What can I say?" he says cheerily, bouncing down the steps after her. "I live for the rush suburban California has to offer."

And then he walks on ahead, along the pavement, just assuming she'll follow and completely avoiding having to look at his old home.

Once again – and there's definitely a pattern here – her own curiosity has Veronica humoring Logan Echolls. She runs a little to catch up, because his legs are so long and his every step takes him so much further away from her.

"So did you want to talk," she chimes, "or were you just spying on me?"

He stops walking abruptly, and she walks right into him, Backup wincing to a halt after trotting into Logan's leg. The Echolls looks at Veronica over his shoulder and smiles. "I wanted to talk to you and Lilly told me you still lived here."

Veronica blinks and brings her hand to her chest in mock surprise, casually trying to regain the dignity she had just atrociously lost.

"You... Logan Echolls... wanted to talk to me? Color me enthused!"

He rolls his eyes and comes around to walk by her side, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, you could probably afford to dial back on the sarcasm."

Veronica looks his arm, and then up at him in disbelief. "And you could probably afford dial back on the friendliness, mister."

He responds by squeezing her to his side.

"Aww, Ronny-"

"Don't call me Ronny-"

"-always _so_ affectionate."

She can tell he hadn't expected that to be awkward. He stops squeezing and clears his throat, his free hand going to the puka shell necklace Lilly had given him.

"I was just a-thinkin' that it's about time you and I had a conversation."

"That's odd," Veronica muses, "because I was just a-thinkin' the _opposite_ of that."

"Okay, you never used to be this sarcastic."

She still isn't- not really. Not ever. She's not quite sure what Logan's bringing out in her. Irritation, probably.

"Yes, well," she says, sticking her nose up in the air, "people change."

Logan's watching her with an awed expression. "Yeah, no shit," he laughs at last. "What's with the skirts and the lip gloss? I mean, I'm not complaining, but what happened to the shorts and pigtails?"

"I grew up," Veronica snaps, but he just laughs again and shakes his head. "Well, what about you? You seem even more juvenile."

"Oh, I've always been this juvenile," he assures her.

"Then I must have gone to Waterland with another movie star's son, then."

He's still laughing- but it's empty now, the humor suddenly gone from the situation.

They've reached the end of the block, and the sea is open out in front of them. They cross the road – she's really not getting rid of him any time soon – over to the boardwalk, which is uncharacteristically empty for a Friday afternoon. There are a couple of tourists and kids skating and riding bikes, but it's not as crowded as usual.

"It was different with you," is what Logan says next, quiet and solemn. He looks at the ground, then at her, and then at the ground again, like he's suddenly nervous.

And Veronica's blood goes cold because this is the Logan she knows.

"Different how?" she queries, trying to keep her tone upbeat. But her futile attempt at keeping it casual falls through- he's sensed the danger, he's running from it.

Eh," he shrugs, the bounce back in his step. "I dunno, that little dude had a mind of his own. And a lot to learn."

His words probably shouldn't hurt as much as they do.

"Unlike this bigger dude," Veronica clarifies, raising her eyebrows at him.

"You bet. This guy knows a lot of things."

"Like?" she prods.

"Ah," he says, leaning in to tap her on the nose, "that's for you to find out on your own, young grasshopper."

She swats his hand away. "Don't call me grasshopper!"

He sighs irritably. "V, Ronnie, grasshopper," he counts off of his fingers, "What am I supposed to call you, then?"

"Veronica," Veronica deadpans.

"Eh," he shrugs, and Veronica decides to get down to it- never mind that old Logan really is in there somewhere. Besides, the arm slung around her is getting uncomfortably sweaty.

"Did you want to have a conversation about anything specific, or are we just catching up? You know that to catch up with someone you need to admit you were actually conscious of your decision to be their friend in the first place, right?"

"I did want to talk to you about something specific, actually," Logan says, conveniently ignoring that second part. "I wanted to know how you felt about me..." he pauses, and Veronica just knows there's more to it, "and Lilly." Bingo. "Together. Like, does it bother you, or...?"

"Bother me?" Aha, oh yes. "Why would it bother me?" she asks as innocently as she possibly can, the sea breeze blowing her hair out of her face, to add that blazé effect, apparently. That's right, Echolls. I've got nature on my side. All you have is your stupid hair gel, and ridiculous biceps. A lot of good those will do you. (Although, they are apparently doing him some good- the odd bikini-clad girls are giving her 'the glare' as they walk past.)

He shrugs again, not even a little bit naïve about the attention he's getting. "Because you dig me," he says.

"Why would I-" she begins, but then it sinks in, and the blazé attitude vanishes in a heartbeat. "Wait, what?"

"Come on," he grins, his eyes shining, "I can practically _feel_ you blushing-"

Veronica pushes his arm off of her and jumps away from him, Backup growling like the good boy he is. "Pretty sure you can't, and what the hell gave you that idea?"

He holds up his hand and begins counting off of his fingers, "Well, one, there's the way you look at me-"

"What way?"

"-then, there's the way you say my name-"

"I call you Logan-"

"-and you always look so pissed when me and Lilly are together."

He finishes with a smile and Veronica has no immediate argument against that. She opens and then closes her mouth, and Logan looks a little too smug as he puts his hands in his pockets.

"That's not-" Veronica begins, and he looks at her, eyebrow raised in defiance, "It's really not because of you. It's because of Lilly."

The smirk falls off of his face, and now it's his turn to say, "Wait, what?"

Veronica rolls her eyes. "Ugh, not like that. I just meant, I'm... kind of angry at Lilly." As soon as she says it she knows it's true. She wrinkles her nose and tries to remember the last time she got truly mad her best friends, and she's pretty sure that it's never happened. And Lilly has done some pretty awful things, but it's all been okay, because she's Lilly, and that's who she is.

"Because... she's dating me?" Logan asks, frowning. "Veronica, you know you're _really_ not helping yourself out here-"

"No, but because three days before I found out that you two were dating, she told me that she was absolutely certain you had a crush on me."

Pause. And then, quietly, "She did what?"

"She thought I liked you, too, I guess," Veronica sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "She already knew she was going to date you, I bet, and she was just trying to hurt me. And that's what makes me mad, I guess."

Logan runs his hand through his hair and then rubs at the back of his neck.

"Wow," he breathes. "Bitch move."

Veronica turns and looks at Logan in surprise. He's not the first to call Lilly a bitch, but she's seen the way he looks at her- adoringly, like she's a goddess. He seems to catch on, and he shakes his head.

"You can still be super into someone you think is a bitch, by the way."

Veronica's main thought is that you can't just call people 'bitch', but the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "You're super into her?"

He grins, wide and brilliant. "You're still not cutting it, are you?"

Veronica grimaces. "I swear to god I'm not into you. I'm her best friend. It's my job to validate these kind of things."

"Best friend, huh?" he asks, looking at the ground. And Veronica realizes what she's done, and she remembers the day he sat on her porch, tying string around his wrist. "That was a good summer," he says then, nodding as if to agree with himself. Veronica licks her lips. "It was," she agrees. And he smiles again – he smiles a lot, she realizes. This smile is hers, though, and it hurts, makes her heart ache.

It really shouldn't.


	3. Chapter 3

**an-** *casually changes the category from drama to angst*

so in this chapter there's a party, and i don't go to many parties... plus, i put music on for scenes, so i looked through my itunes for party music... and the closest i had was foster the people and the great gatsby soundtrack so... sorry if it has a weird vibe.

also, quick justification of logan echoll's existence: 1) he's a teenage boy, 2) he's a rich, spoilt, famous teenage boy, 3) he has an abusive father and an alcholic mother. all these things summed up tend to equal: not-very-nice-particularly person. as in not fairy prince._ JUST SAYING._

thanks to **theoneswhocomeeasy** for beta'ing and suffering through my nervous rants and livetweeting beta'ing? because i'm a huge narcissist and enjoy it a lot?

next chapter may take a bit longer, i've got supermeganotcoolgoddammit exams coming up next week and they'll probably drain the life and soul out of me. also, don't be afraid to drop some reviews!

anyway i hope you guys enjoy this chap. it's a doozie. wink wink _if_ you know what i mean...

* * *

**iii.**

It's summer, Logan's parents are out of town and Trina is at her boyfriend's place. So, naturally, Lilly makes Logan throw a party.

It's been a few weeks since Veronica's sixteenth birthday, and she had a party... but of course, it's _so_ like Lilly to turn this all around and make it a good deed. Veronica isn't exactly sure what kind of good deeds involve excessive amounts of drugs and alcohol, but she decides to just go with it. It's not a birthday party, though, Lilly assures her. It's a birthday present. A present because at a party like this, anything could happen. Plus, parties allow flashing lights, and flashing lights are Lilly's favourite.

Whatever doubts Veronica has ever had about Logan and Lilly being a couple are eradicated as soon as she sees them sitting at the Echolls' dining table, heads together, Lilly with a pen in her hand and Logan with a piece of paper under his. They're talking low and fast, Lilly writing frantically and Logan putting his hand over where she's writing when he doesn't agree with one of her ideas. They're like partners in crime, each secretly desperate to one-up the other, each coming up with more bizarre ideas for what's shaping up to be the bash of the year.

Duncan slides into the seat next to hers, and she tears her gaze away from Bonnie and Clyde.

"What do you reckon the chance is that we'll get arrested?" the younger Kane asks, leaning towards her.

"And the chances are my dad arrests us?" Veronica grins, leaning in to kiss him hello.

She's still not sure about how she feels, dating Duncan. As the school year had come to an end, though, it had just seemed inevitable. Duncan Kane and Veronica Mars. The prince and princess of Neptune Middle. Yup, Veronica had made it up the food chain in her final year, but she had never made it as high as Lilly had gotten. Lilly is always the queen. And Logan's her king.

Duncan rubs at the small of her back when they pull apart, and Lilly groans from across the table.

"Get a room!" she laughs, which seems to cause Logan to go into full make-out mode, and it's kind of disgusting.

Duncan looks at her apologetically, and pushes his chair back.

"We will, then," he says, standing up, and that causes Lilly to pull away from her boyfriend, while he starts kissing her neck.

"Oh, no you don't! We've gotta get this place ready," she says, pushing Logan off of her gently. He nips at her ear as she rolls her eyes, and then jumps to his feet at once, clapping his hands together.

"And _I've_ got to go and see some Mexicans about a piñata," he says, fishing car keys out of his pocket. "Dick just got his license- this opens a whole new world of possibilities."

"Just make sure you're back for tonight!" Lilly calls after him as he skips out of the room.

"How come I've got to stay here?" Duncan protests as they hear the front door slam shut. Lilly sighs.

"Because, little brother, you're good with a hammer."

Duncan frowns and squints at her. "Is that a euphemism…?" he asks after a moment.

"Ugh, no. I just got a manicure," Lilly explains, holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers. Duncan sighs and sits back down.

"Wait, tonight?" Veronica asks her friend, who's reading over the list of whatever obscenities she and Logan had cooked up. "I thought we were doing this tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Lilly says absently, "but I just found out Shelly is _also_ having a party tonight, and I want to crush her. Don't worry, I've called everyone already."

"That's pretty confident of you," Duncan comments, and his sister's head snaps up.

"Less talking, more planning. Doughnut, _you're_ in charge of the decorations." She bends town under the table and pulls out a huge box that's brimming with what seems to be banners, streamers and fairy-lights. Both Veronica and Duncan's brows furrow in surprise.

"Where did you even get that-" he begins, but she cuts him off.

"Meanwhile, Veronica and I are going shopping for drinks, drugs and a prettier outfit than yours," she says, pushing her chair back and standing back. "Questions? Make it quick, people, the clock's ticking!"

Duncan raises his hand and she nods him to give him right of speech. "You're just going to leave me here? This isn't even our house- what if Mr and Mrs Echolls come back- and aren't decorations girl stuff?"

"Wow," Lilly says in disbelief. "You're in charge of snacks, too, for that_disgustingly_ sexist comment."

"Wha-"

"C'mon, 'Ronica," she coos, dancing around the table and grabbing her best friend's hand. "We've got _a lot_ of work to do."

x

The afternoon passes in a blur; an exciting, colorful blur- as all afternoons with Lilly do. They speed in and out of town, try on dresses and buy questionable amounts of booze with Lilly's fake ID and family name.

And then, there's the unfortunate run-in with Neptune's very own biker gang.

The PCH bikers give a lot of grief to the local sheriff's department, and the leader, Eli 'Weevil' Navarro goes to Veronica's literature class.

They run into them in one of the various liquor stores they visit. As Lilly pulls up outside of _Donovan's Liquor and Liquorice _alongside the various black motorbikes, ignoring Veronica's _slightly_ high-pitched warning. Out waltzes Weevil, hands in his pockets and expression laid back. Veronica can see the heads of many-a-biker through the foggy green windows of the store, and crosses her fingers for them to not come out. And for Lilly to not go in.

Lilly switches off the motor and rests her arm atop the door of the convertible, looking up at Weevil over her huge Armani sunglasses. Veronica sinks into the passenger seat and tries to look as cool as composed as Lilly does. Because Lilly does- in fact, she looks perfectly comfortable. She's wearing that smile Veronica's seen so many times.

"Well, well, well," the biker grins, coming to lean on the hood of the car. "Look who we have here!" He doesn't even look at Veronica. His eyes are glued to Lilly, and Veronica's more than okay with the arrangement. Besides, she was pretty used to it.

"Never would have thought I'd see you in a place like this- a liquor store on the outskirts of town, my golly!" she giggles. Veronica looks at her in disbelief. Lilly knows everyone, but this- this was weird, even for her. "Why, if you don't just fit in here like a puzzle piece," she adds, smiling coyly.

"You certainly don't," he smirks, "in your fancy white girl car and tank tops." Veronica swallows nervously at his use of the plural 'tops'. "You know, some might say you're stalking me."

Now it's Lilly's turn to smirk. "Hardly," she snorts, "I've got better things to do than follow you and your gang of hormonal bikers around." She stretches out the way only Lilly can, stretching to put on a show, stretching because she knows he's watching. "_I'm_ putting on a party."

"Yeah, well, they don't take no fake IDs here. You best take your business someplace else if you don't want your BFF's daddy to pick you up." Veronica's stomach drops as he looks at her in irritation. "Yeah, I know who you are, Mars. We got Literature together."

"You never show up," is all Veronica can say. Lilly acts like she hasn't spoken.

"How are _you_ getting it, then, Mr. Neptune Middle student?" she inquires, batting her eyelashes.

"Paco's twenty-one."

"Can Paco get some for us?"

Weevil squints at the two of them. "You're rich and white."

Lilly taps on the steering wheel. "And?"

"No," he says shortly.

Lilly huffs and starts the engine up without warning, but he doesn't budge.

"I may have to crash this party of yours, you know," he says, leaning closer. "Where is it?"

"Not telling," Lilly sings, putting the car into gear.

He stands up straight and shrugs. "Whatever. I'm sure I'll find out."

"I'm sure you will."

As Weevil watches them drive away, Veronica begins to suspect that Lilly isn't a particularly faithful girlfriend.

"He's a _great_ kisser," the Kane says twenty minutes later, in the dressing room of one of the many clothes stores they've visited today.

"Huh?" Veronica asks absently, attempting to zip up the back of her own dress. "Who is?"

"Who do you think?" Lilly's voice floats in from the next stall. "_Logan_, you dummy."

Veronica promptly gives up, and looks at her reflection in the mirror. She looks a lot like Lilly, now. They both have blonde hair, they both have the same tan… Lilly is curvier, though. Veronica's chest is as flat as a surfboard. "Oh. Yeah."

Lilly's silent for a few moments, and Veronica pulls the green fabric over her head. The color had made her eyes burn.

"So you're saying you've kissed him?"

Veronica frowns at her reflection, and then at the wall Lilly's on the other side of. "Wait, what?"

"_I_ said 'Logan's a great kisser' and then _you_ said 'oh, yeah'. So you're saying you've kissed him?"

Veronica all but headbutts the wall. "I've never- ugh. I just trust your judgment is all."

Without warning, the door to Veronica's stall bursts open, and Lilly jumps in.

"Lilly!" Veronica yells in surprise, pressing the dress she had just tried on to her chest. "I'm changing!"

"_Out_ of that, I hope," Lilly groans, and Veronica manages a small nod. "You're awful at this. Your fashion sense is absolutely atrocious. Here, I bought you some things."

"These are the things you were just trying on."

"I know. And I've picked one." She holds up a small black thing, and then shoves an assortment of colorful items into Veronica's hands. "I can't believe you've never kissed him," she continues conversationally. Veronica opens and closes her mouth, because she really does _not_ know what to make of this conversation. And it's hard to gather her wits when she's in her underwear and Lilly's fully dressed, and they're both stuck in this confined space with a mirror.

"Why would I have?" she manages. "He's dating you! You're being really weird."

Lilly bites her lip and leans against the door. "I just thought, maybe before, then."

"No," Veronica says, because it's the clearest word possible and she simply can't leave any room for loopholes. Her friend stares at her for a moment, as if looking for clues, but seems to give up.

"Go on, get changed already!" she snaps. "Five hours until the party starts and Duncan's probably done an awful job at decorating the place. I bet he doesn't even have snacks. The _party's_ your present, not the shopping spree. Pick a dress and we're out."

With that she turns on her heel, hitting Veronica in the face with her hair as she does so, and leaves the dressing room.

Veronica picks a dress, a deep blue one with a high neckline, but above the knees. Time with Lilly always either made her extremely confident or the complete opposite. Today, it was the latter.

x

There's a bubble machine, a smoke machine, and a stage in the by the pool. The flashing lights are Lilly's favourite, but Lilly herself is nowhere to be seen; there are high schoolers and people from Hearst, one or two of Aaron Echolls' castmates Logan had befriended and at least two strippers. There's music so loud you can hardly hear yourself think, complete with the dull thud that rings throughout your empty chest, and in the short intervals there's the almost disturbingly constant clink of smashing glass, obnoxious laughter and splashing as people fall into the pool out back.

The air is thick with pink steam and light. No color is permanent and the scent of tobacco and weed has sunk into the walls of clammy skin and questionable amounts of leather.

Veronica's not entirely sure of what to make of it all, really. It's fun. It's definitely fun. She's already danced with Duncan three times, made out with him twice, and tried vodka for the first time. All in all, it's turning out to be a very eventful night.

The hot California climate is making her skin glisten and her hair cling to it. If she steps away from the party, she may find that she smells awful, but it hardly seems to matter here. She's outside, now, under the looming black sky dotted with blinking lights. Veronica's leaning against the poolhouse with a rum and coke she doesn't have much of a taste for (but, hey, it's alcohol nonetheless, and isn't that the teenage anthem?) in her hand, and she lost Lilly hours ago.

She guesses that Logan got back at some point, because there had been that moment where Dick had run out of the house yelling, "KALABUNGA!" or something equally as lame, and jumped, fully clothed, into the Echolls' pool. After that, everyone's smiles had become that extra bit stupid. If that isn't the most perfect clue of Logan's arrival, Veronica isn't sure what is.

Duncan's been coming and going as he pleases (which is just as well, because he's a stupid drunk, and if she has to listen to him attempt the macarena _one more time_…), so her company is limited to Madison and Meg.

"Can you _believe_ Dick?" Madison is yelling over the music, crushing her plastic cup with professionally manicured hands. "He keeps on _totally_ blowing me off!"

Meg snorts loudly. Ah, sweet, innocent Meg. It's kind of wrong, seeing her get drunk (for the first time ever). It's like being told Santa Claus isn't real. Sure, a little less devastating, but… Meg is normally the sunniest, sweetest and most composed teenager Veronica has ever met. She completely makes her wonder if those Disney Princesses actually were sort of based on reality.

"_You're_ getting blown…" she begins slowly, "by a Dick?" Meg erupts into a fit of laughter and Veronica tries sinking into the wall out of second hand embarrassment on for size.

"Oh my _god_," Madison groans, her dark hair gleaming. "I'll be back when you're ready to be a little more mature," she snaps, disappearing into the crowd like thin air.

"She's lookin' a little _too_ mature, if you ask me," Veronica says as quietly as she can, for Meg's ears only. But Meg is long gone- some waiter has snacks, and oh, Veronica forgot that they're apparently in the eighteenth century, and Meg is running after him in a matter of seconds. Which leaves Veronica alone. Again.

She quickly weighs her options; is it worth looking for Lilly? She peers around the crowd, but she can hardly see the pool there are so many people. And Lilly could be anywhere. Anywhere from in the pool to in a closet. No, finding Lilly is out of the question. Lilly would have to find her…isn't that how it always goes, in the end?

Veronica isn't even sure she _wants_ to find Duncan…

This reasoning would leave Logan, but Veronica is ninety percent sure that Logan is wherever Lilly is… so…

Not like it matters. Veronica has other friends. Sure, Lilly is her best friend, and the two of them along with Duncan and Logan have sort of become a teen-movie inspired foursome… But Lilly has other friends, and so does Veronica.

Friends like-

"'Ronica! Get over here, you _dork_!"

Veronica breathes a sigh of relief at Lilly's voice. She goes on tiptoes to find the blonde, and sees her over by the house, a megaphone in her hand. She continues yelling into it as Veronica makes her way through the crowd.

"We all having a good time?" her voice roars over the music. The people who hear her cheer in consent, and at least three people elbow Veronica in the process. She makes her way up to Lilly, bounding up the steps in an effort to get out of the crowd. Lilly throws her arms around her, and is no exception to the smells-of-pot rule.

"Are you high?" Veronica asks in disbelief. Lilly giggles and pulls herself off of her.

"Now, _darling_," she fawns, rolling the 'R', "don't be _ridiculous_!" She erupts into a fit of laughter.

"You are, Lilly Kane," Veronica gawks, "you are _high_!"

Lilly stops laughing abruptly, and squints at her best friend. "Well, at least tell me you're _drunk_!"

Veronica pulls a face, and thinks about it, feeling the cup in her hand. No. She doesn't feel that drunk at all. Kinda drunk, but not _super_ drunk. She shrugs. "Maybe a little."

Lilly waves her hand, a gesture that must mean 'we'll soon fix that'.

"Listen, _girly_," she begins, wrapping her arm around Veronica's neck and pulling her close to speak into her ear, "my girly, I need _you,_" she taps Veronica's chest lightly with the megaphone to emphasize her point, "to go down into the cellar and _help Logan bring up more drink_!" she shouts that last part into the mic.

Veronica frowns. "This place has a cellar?"

The Kane looks at her as if that were the most ridiculous question she's ever heard. "It's a _mansion_, Veronica. It has everything."

Before Veronica has time to say another word, Lilly rolls her eyes and steers Veronica into the house. Which is just as packed as the outside, except it's darker and stuffier and more people are making out. Veronica chokes on questionable amounts of smoke as she's lead through the party and into a dark, chillier corridor. She wouldn't be able to say where she is if anyone asks- the party vibe, the loud music and vomiting sounds kind of wreck her perspective of space and time, and the whole mansion is completely transformed. They walk until they reach a room with a wooden door. It's wide open, and the dimmed room inside begins with some steps heading down. The music is dulled a little in this part of the house, and Veronica can hear someone inside.

"Lilly?" Logan's voice floats up. "You bring back-up?"

"The best of the best!" Lilly calls down. Then, to Veronica, "Don't trip on the steps." She pushes Veronica inside, and giggles right before she pulls the door shut. Veronica blinks at where her friend had been, and then turns around.

"Hey, did someone close the door?" Logan asks as Veronica makes her way down the steps.

He's shifting crates of drink across the room, over to the bottom of the steps. The room is small; the floor is tiled and the walls aren't walls, per say, they're wine racks. There must be over a hundred bottles down here, and Veronica suddenly understands why she has to be who helps Logan bring stuff out of here. Anyone else, less respectable than herself would probably either smash them all or steal them all. The party alcohol is in Logan's crates, that much is obvious. The wine racks are off limits.

"Oh, hey, Veronica," he greets upon seeing her.

He stops shifting crates and stands up tall. There's not a doubt in Veronica's mind that Lilly helped him choose his party outfit. The green silk shirt is so Logan and yet so very un-Logan all at once. The jeans are keeping it casual but the shiny shoes are not. But, Veronica muses, no matter how neat he got, he still looked like a rebellious bad-boy. Plus, he was ridiculously tall now. Veronica vaguely remembers the days where she was sometimes even taller than him- now he's shot up to the sky and she's probably the shortest person she knows. It's kind of infuriating, to say the least.

"Did you close the door on your way in?" he asks her, eyebrows raised.

"Lilly did, actually," Veronica answers. "We need to carry these?" She gestures to the boxes, but Logan's face has dropped. He pronounces a loud and graceless, "_Fuck_!" and runs up the steps to bang on the door. "Lilly! Lilly, open the goddamn door!"

Veronica walks over to the bottom of the steps and watches him repeatedly hit the wood.

"Is it locked?" she implores tentatively.

"No," Logan grunts, "it's just broken. It won't open from the inside- and Lilly knew that, the little-" he takes a deep breath and steps away from the door. "Well. She'll come and get us out eventually."

Veronica doesn't like the sound of 'eventually', and Logan's grimace isn't exactly comforting. He skips down the steps and plops himself onto the bottom one, a sigh of exasperation tugging at his whole body.

"I don't know what she's playing at," he groans. "All the booze is down here. It's her fucking party." Veronica opens her mouth to speak, but he shakes his head. "I mean I know it's _your_ party, and I know it's _my_ party... but it's her party."

"She practically pushed me in here," Veronica says. "Do you think she's gonna do something she doesn't want us to see? Because if that's true, Duncan will be joining us soon."

Logan studies her carefully. Then he nods and runs a palm through his hair.

"What could she not want us to see?"

"Oh, I don't know, a _billion_ things. And this _is_ your house. We're the only three people who'll openly judge her and make her feel bad. She said it herself, the other day."

"Yeah… but I thought we were a team. She should know I'm willing to do anything she wants to do." He mutters that last part to himself, and takes to staring at the floor. For the second time today, Veronica is compelled to think about exactly how well their relationship was going. Because when they're together, it's obvious, obvious that they're totally meant for each other. For example, this morning, at the Echolls' dinner table. But when she had been with Lilly this afternoon, something had seemed off. Now, Logan is staring off into space, and doubting them feels natural again.

"Maybe she wants to surprise us," she says hopefully, trying to lift his spirits, doing her duty as best friend. "That totally seems more likely, right?"

Logan perks up almost instantly, and, consequently, Veronica also feels more at ease.

"Yeah, that does sound more like Lilly," he agrees, and she's not even sure if he totally believes it. But he keeps on smiling nonetheless. The knot in her stomach loosens.

They wait. Then, they wait a little longer.

At some point, Logan busts open a crate and hands her a beer, taking one for himself, too.

They wait some more.

It's… awkward. Awkward, because they haven't been alone together since he had followed her down the boardwalk when she was out with Back-up. As soon as they realize as much, the silence gets much more weary, and the room gets much more cramped. It's cool down there, seeing as it's half underground, but the discomfort of the situation is making the air stuffy and the silence suffocating.

Logan licks his lips. It's a small movement, one that would normally go unnoticed… but now, even the smallest of motions are amplified, and Veronica stiffens. Because, suddenly, it all clicks. It could just be the fact that she was stuck in the dim room with him alone, but she's almost absolutely certain of Lilly's intentions. Her mouth goes dry, her stomach does a flip, and her mouth is pulled into a grimace.

"You know, I kind of think Lilly's forgotten about us-" Logan begins, but Veronica hardly hears him.

"She wants us to kiss."

Logan looks up.

"She wants us to- what?" he asks, incredulously. Though, he's not dismissing the idea, not at all. "Why?"

"I don't know," she lies, but she has a very good idea. "Lilly reasons. She did this to me and Duncan last Christmas, too."

Veronica wishes Logan would smile the proper way, the way he _should_ be smiling, like, '_Oh, like _that's _gonna happen_.'

Instead, his smile is tentative as he whispers, "Did it work?"

Veronica's stomach drops. "No!"

"But… you're dating now," Logan continues, standing up, and she really wishes he wouldn't.

"And it has _nothing_ to do with Lilly!" Veronica insists. She knows he doesn't believe her. Not that she cares. She clutches onto her can of beer, trying to steady herself. Although, that makes no sense. Besides, she doesn't even like it. It's too bitter.

He's walking towards her, slowly and cautiously, like he doesn't want to scare her off. Which is certainly most definitely not good, and also not working. He's completely scaring her off. Every step he takes towards her, she takes away from him.

"Do you _want_ to kiss me?" he asks quietly, and she can see the hunger in his eyes. He doesn't seem high, like Lilly, but he's definitely slightly drunk. He wouldn't be Logan Echolls if he wasn't slightly drunk.

"No!" she squeaks, and wow, if she isn't just the _smoothest_ person. She can even feel her palms getting sweaty. Why did she even bring it up? Why didn't she just sit next to him on the steps and wait for Lilly to open up?

"I kind of want to kiss you."

Those are the words that make Veronica's stomach swoop. This isn't happening. This is ridiculous. Of course, now all she can do is imagine kissing him. All the times she's seen him kiss Lilly come to mind all at once, the way he puts his hand through her hair or cups her face or pulls him towards her-

"Don't," she says shortly, sternly. She even fools herself into thinking she doesn't want it. _Duncan, Duncan, Duncan…_

He sighs. The exhale reaches her face, making her shudder involuntarily. "I won't."

She swallows and plants her feet on the ground, feeling an immense deja vu. "I'm serious," she says, keeping her voice steady. "Don't you dare kiss me."

"Jesus, Veronica, I won't!"

They stand in complete silence for about five seconds before he takes one last step towards her, cups her face with his hands and goes for it. Veronica's too shocked and stunned to realize that his mouth is on hers until he angles his head and slides his tongue into her open mouth- and then she realizes it all too fast, and her stomach swoops and she has to grab onto his arms to stop herself from falling over, because she's _totally_ smooth.

Then, maybe she kisses back. Maybe the kiss tastes bitter, the alcohol on his breath making her stomach swirl and his hand in her hair making her knees go weak. But it's only for a moment. Only until she gathers her wits and her strength (An _insanely_ difficult task!) and is able to pull him off of her.

"I thought I told you not to kiss me!" she scolds, although her voice is hoarse and ends in a squeak. Her heart is hammering in her chest and she feels something she pegs as desire deep in the pit of her stomach.

Great. Just great.

"I know," he says. His lips are all pink and puffy, and his eyes are dark. Veronica wonders if she looks the same way.

"You put your _tongue_ in my _mouth_!" she breathes incredulously, once she can trust herself to speak.

"I didn't mean to-" he begins, but she doesn't want to hear it.

"Oh, really?" she snaps. "Because it _really_ seems like you meant to."

Only now does she realize that she dropped her can, and her foot is all wet and sticky. Classy.

Her fists are clenching the silk of his shirt at his arms. She's aware that to step away from him, she'll have to let go. But his eyes are boring into hers, and his breathing is slow and steady, and her heart won't stop thudding.

"Listen, Veronica, I'm sor-"

This time, she kisses him. She gets up on tiptoes and kisses him. Hard. She's not quite sure why, and maybe she should have gone with being drunk. Because even though he's Lilly's, it doesn't even seem to matter right now and that alone terrifies her.

But what terrifies her even more is how he kisses back. He's surprised, at first, caught off guard. He recovers quickly, and his hands go to her waist so as to pull her against him, his fingers digging into her hips. He bends down slightly, enough so Veronica can wrap her arms around his neck. He begins kissing her neck as he picks her up, hands cupping her ass, leaving her no choice but to wrap her legs around his waist. Her dress is riding up to her thighs and he's running his hands along her bare skin. It's awkward. Boy, is it awkward. Veronica has practically no experience and Logan obviously has plenty.

And then there's the nudge she feels against her… down there.

"Do you have a boner?" Her mouth forms around that last word awkwardly. She's never said it out loud because she's never really had to. She feels stupid asking

"I'm a horny teenage boy, 'Ronica, what do you want from me?"

Out of desperation for that conversation to end, she kisses him again. She cannot get over how good kissing him feels. The soft harshness of his lips, his tongue against hers, the way his teeth graze her bottom lip...it all makes her body ache. She's never really thought about kissing him before now, and she can't remember if she's ever wanted to. She is though, and she doesn't want to stop. Because he's filling up her head and making it so fuzzy. There's a fire in her and it just feels so good. It's like bickering with him, but the stakes are higher and her whole body is vibrating and buzzing in agreement. As if it knows this is what it should be spending it's free time doing.

She pulls herself up a little higher, starting to get the hang of this whole straddling thing, pressing her (sure, non-existent) chest against his and tilting her head to the side because it feels right. And boy, does it. His mouth opens wider and it's sloppy and desperate and it feels like he's trying to consume her. She fights back, holding her ground, fighting his tongue with her own and running her hand down his chest making him hum in agreement. The fact that Logan Echolls agrees to anything she's doing to him gives her the confidence to pull up his overpriced silk shirt and slide a hand onto his bare stomach. His skin is hot and his stomach flexes as she drags her palm along it to reach his hipbone. Logan groans.

He might have gone week in the knees, because what happens next is that with an almost disturbing amount of ease he eases them both onto the floor. He kneels and she puts her feet back onto the ground, but moves to straddle him instead. When he puts his palms on her back and leans slowly forward, she senses what he's trying to do, and instead of letting him lay her in front of him, she pushes him lightly onto his back, taking his hands in hers and laying them at either side of his head. The tiled floor is cold against her knees, and she knows it can't be comfortable for him, but he doesn't object as she moves her mouth down his jawline and then to his neck. What is she even doing?

She's running purely on instinct, and she's kissing his neck. She doesn't even know why, she just knows that she wants to kiss his neck; she kisses his adam's apple and then all the way to his collarbone. She can feel him humming in agreement and him hard against the inside of her thigh. Once his shirt starts to get in the way, she goes back to his mouth, and he kisses her back eagerly. She lets go of his wrists and moves to unbutton his shirt. Out of nowhere, his hands goes to her waist and he flips her over, making her yelp in surprise, and suddenly he's on top of her. The floor is hard against her spine, but that really doesn't matter. He's propped up on his elbows and knees so that he's not crushing her, and she's arching her back to meet him in the middle…

"Better stop making out in there, I'm coming in!"

Dick's voice is the most nerve-wrecking reality check Veronica has ever suffered. Both she and Logan freeze, and after a beat she pushes him off of her, albeit rather unsuccessfully. Her knee finds the most inconvenient part of him, and he groans in pain as he falls back onto his ass- meanwhile, Veronica pulls at her skirt to hide any incriminating patch of bare thigh. The door swings open and Dick stumbles through just as she's patting her hair down and Logan is crossing his legs in what seems to be a desperate attempt to look casual.

"Whoa, wait, were you two actually making out? No fucking way!"

"Shut up," is all Logan can say. Silver tongued Logan Echolls is tongue tied, and Veronica watches wide eyed as he stumbles to his feet and pushes his hair up.

"Dude- that's your girlfriend's best friend," Dick giggles, looking from Logan to Veronica. Veronica's face is heating up and her skin is freezing in shock and guilt. She thinks she might just throw up when Dick turns and shouts, "Lilly, they were both on the floor!"

The color drains from Logan's features right before Veronica's eyes. In a flash, it's back again. Easy smile, lazy posture, irritated but fond sigh, "You're high, and we were just waiting for someone to open the door." He slaps his friend on the back and ruffles his hair, although it's obvious Dick is having none of it. He then walks over to Veronica and offers her his hand. After a moments hesitation, she takes it. It's warm and sweaty, and she's really hurt although she's not sure why. That's the scene Lilly walks in on, eager smile and bounce in her step.

"Don't be silly, Dick. 'Ronica would never do something like that," she says, lacing her arms through Veronica's. Her skin burns and tears start welling in Veronica's eyes. She's going to throw up, she can feel it in her throat. Why is Lilly so nonchalant about this?

She goes up on tiptoes to kiss Logan on the cheek, and his eyes flicker to Veronica's face only briefly. If there's a message in those eyes, she doesn't get it. Sorry? I didn't mean to? How dare you? It could be any of the three, and Veronica wants nothing more than to leave and never see any of these people ever again, but Lilly's clutch on her arm is titanium, and in no time she's pulling her out of the room and up the stairs.

"Hey, Dick, help me with the beer," she hears Logan say as the two girls burst out into the corridor.

"On the floor, Veronica?" That's when Lilly's kind demeanor fails, the smile vanishing from her painted lips, the rouge disappearing from her face; but only for a moment. She's so much like Logan, slipping in and out of personas, slipping in and out of feelings. "Soooo?" she grins, pulling Veronica to her side. "Happy birthday! Pretty great party, huh?"

Veronica can't bring herself to answer, her heart still in her throat. She honestly doesn't trust herself to not throw up. Her mouth is dry and all she can taste is acid. Her lips are aching out of guilt, and every part of her he touched is on fire. At one point, when they step back into the packed living room, she wants to ask, 'How could you do that to Duncan?' But she knows what Lilly's answer would be almost immediately.

How could you do that to Duncan?

So instead, as Lilly lets go of her arm and asks her if she wants to dance.

Veronica whispers, "How could you do this to me?"

But Lilly doesn't hear her.


End file.
